first of all, i sort of believe in aliens. judge me. but that's not at all the purpose of this post.
second of all, i have been learning a lot lately that this is not my home. and by that i mean earth. I don't have citizenship here (actually on a literal level i do... both in the us and england!!! dual-citizenship, y'all). I was created and purposed and designed for another place. that is why sometimes it is just so stinking hard to live here. like sometimes when you think you are doing well in your classes and you're excited and then you realize you aren't. or when you miss your sisters a whole lot each and every day, so much so that when you think about it you cry. or maybe like you feel tired and discouraged by your ministry. yeah maybe that. but the thing is, this isn't my home. i have something so much greater and exciting and fulfilling and beautiful in store for me. and that is what i get to look forward to while I'm living her in my not-home. i have an eternity with my best friend and father. and that is good. and that is enough. recently, i had a tough conversation with someone who told me that i live too much looking forward to heaven. and i cried. and well, the awkward thing was that i cried right there to her face. and it was not that kind of moment. and i was heaving. and i think that's just because that is where all my hope and peace lie. if i don't get to look forward to heaven, then that makes life here so much harder. so i'm choosing paul's words: for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. So i get to love my not-home and enjoy the people and opportunities I have been so blessed with. but I also get to be a little home-sick. praise Jesus!!
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