why i should go to bed earlier than four.

1. i just sent a text that read:
"my head feels like its trying to float away but my neck is constantly holding it down. stupid neck. let it float."
like what?

2. i am currently really paranoid that i'm a part of a truman show scam and i'm on tv and my life is a set-up. who are you people? are you paid actors?

that is all.

ponderings from dec(k) 1

1. december is way funnier if everyday you pronounce dec as deck. like today is deck 1. hey, dont ask me to explain the reasons behind why it's so funny. it's simply annaglish and i love it.
2. my first real meal since sunday night was..... mcdonalds!! and it hurt so good. sorry not sorry little stomach guy.

 < me

3. i heard these exact words today: "anna, you love the library more than you love me!" dad! are you reading this?!?! history has been made this day, deck 1 of 2011.
4. i actually heard someone get offended by a yo mama joke today. #durham

in other news, im off to prepare for my week of 4 papers, 1 presentation, and 3 exams next week. brb.

wait. read this: "so you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are His child, God has also made you an heir." - galatians 4.7
and listen to this: cee lo green ft. melanie fiona - fool for you

i'm an alien.

first of all, i sort of believe in aliens. judge me. but that's not at all the purpose of this post.

second of all, i have been learning a lot lately that this is not my home. and by that i mean earth. I don't have citizenship here (actually on a literal level i do... both in the us and england!!! dual-citizenship, y'all). I was created and purposed and designed for another place. that is why sometimes it is just so stinking hard to live here. like sometimes when you think you are doing well in your classes and you're excited and then you realize you aren't. or when you miss your sisters a whole lot each and every day, so much so that when you think about it you cry. or maybe like you feel tired and discouraged by your ministry. yeah maybe that. but the thing is, this isn't my home. i have something so much greater and exciting and fulfilling and beautiful in store for me. and that is what i get to look forward to while I'm living her in my not-home. i have an eternity with my best friend and father. and that is good. and that is enough. recently, i had a tough conversation with someone who told me that i live too much looking forward to heaven. and i cried. and well, the awkward thing was that i cried right there to her face. and it was not that kind of moment. and i was heaving. and i think that's just because that is where all my hope and peace lie. if i don't get to look forward to heaven, then that makes life here so much harder. so i'm choosing paul's words: for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. So i get to love my not-home and enjoy the people and opportunities I have been so blessed with. but I also get to be a little home-sick. praise Jesus!!

but how old am i? really?

welp. just in the midst of a little identity crisis on account of the fact that no one seems to be able to reconcile my face/self to an age. shesh. para examplar:

- i've started observing in a middle school this semester for the school of ed. i LOVE it. however, on the first day, about four students asked my cooperating teacher, who is cute and about 30, if i was her daughter. suffice it to say, i didn't make a good first impression with ol offended ms. k.

- the next week when observing i walked around the room to help ms. k check the practice problems. one of the little boys, juan, covered his paper when i walked by. then he turned, saw it was me, and stated, "oh i thought you were one of them eighth graders trying to copy off my paper." no, juan. and if i was trying to cheat i probably wouldn't copy off yours, ifyouknowwhatimsaying.

-last week when observing one of the little problem children called out to me.
hellion - "ms emma?"
me - "it's anna, bud. you know that." -- he always calls me emma no matter what.
hellion - "right. well don't tell ms. k."
me - "don't tell ms k what?"
hellion - "don't tell her what i said."
me - "what'd you say?"
hellion - "that i think that you might be pregnant."
um what?!?!?!?!??!?!? so i gave him my fiercest teaching glare.
hellion - "ohhhhh she didn't answer. she must be pregnant."
good thing i have two more years to work on that glare, i guess.

- finally, on friday i took my little brother to the fair. in will's words, i "refused to parallel park so we parked a thousand miles away." in my mind, i wanted to avoid fair traffic so we parked a reasonable distance from the fair, which in turn made it so i also didnt have to parallel park (!). anyways, on our brief journey back to the car, a girl nearby (i swear she is not any older than me), asked, "excuse me but im about to get in my car. are ya'll sure you are okay to walk in the dark?"

so apparently im either a) young enough to be the daughter of a 30 yr-old b) an eighth-grader c) old enough to be with child or d) too young to walk in the dark (which in my mind is like 12).

smh. srsly.

i know i'm dramatic. get over it.

sometimes you get out of class at seven. and even your bones are chilly. and you realize you have three papers to write tonight. and then you look at this picture and all is right in the world. and your heart wears a smile.

mcstapleinmydiet

there are things in life that i am almost positive i am supposed to have a love-hate relationship with. except i only have a love-love relationship. like mcdonalds. i dont know whether it stems from the days of 99 cent happy meals on every tuesday night or not... but i began a love affair with it many years ago. mcdonalds has been there for me. after i finished my marathon: big mac combo. my first fastfood after camp: again, big mac combo. every home basketball game last year: happy meal. people argue that is "unhealthy" or something like that. listen, i dont ask mcdonalds to be healthy, i just ask it to taste good. just like i dont ask chris brown to not beat his girlfriend, i just ask him to woo me with song. offended yet?

ps always ask for a boy toy when you order the happy meal. it's always better. unless the girl toy is a mini beanie baby.

da womb

chapel hill: where yopo is a staple, wrestling matches are in abundance, and creepers creep.

my time back at school has been... well, interesting. its so great to be in chapel hill. i love living in a house, da womb (lol). i love being in the school of education. and i love romping around with long-lost friends. i even had some great camp friends from jmu come down to visit for our first football game! so fun.
 but we have had a little too much excitement at our house. in the form of a little creeper, who has peeped and even tried to break in. we have had to call the cops twice, lost a lot of sleep, done a lot of security improvements, and made even more uncomfortable jokes to ease our minds. we have coined our little friend 'tom', as in peeping. good times. pray for no more encounters with our dear little friend (narnia? anyone?)

 sleepover in da womb post first encounter with tom (note this is my room!)

teammates matching and eating pancakes

stare-down. sophies.

such mature fridge magnets

we all got bats!! whooooo. this one's mine. i was voted most likely to flight not fight,

 and therefore received only a little wooden bat. 

i love this little guy! (note that's our living room)

cutest. pazookie is a lifestyle. half-baked cookies and ice cream!

 philip practicing his body-guarding techniques

ahhhhh. best friends at yopo. 

diesel debacle

as kier has coined it. or vamn (damn van) as i have.

i could begin this post by saying that keegans are notorious for their bad relationship with cars. 6 girls, 12+ accidents. my poor father. i myself have totaled two cars. i could begin this post that way. but i wont.
i could begin this post by saying that it will undoubtedly be a long one. i could urge you to give it a try and let me prove to you that it absolutely has to be this long. i could. but i wont.
instead, ill just begin by telling you that saturday, july 30 kier and i were both dead to the world. (except we didnt know that just 24 hours later we would really know what dead to the world meant). we had both gotten very very very little sleep that week and it was the last day of camp. the plan, albeit not ideal, was to drive home to cary (leaving camp at 1, getting home at 3) to go to a wedding (at 3:30) of one of our best friends, rush straight from there (at 4 hopefully, but actually 4:20) back to camp for staff banquet (at 6) and then from there enjoy camp activities through the night and leave at about 3 am to go back home to cary so that kier could be leave our house at noon to go to the airport and begin her adventures in indonesia. whoa. lots o' travelling. our parents were skeptical of our plan but kier and i are nothing if we aren't headstrong. and by that i mostly just mean kier. as we were leaving the church my dad gave us two rules: 1. both of us have to stay awake for the trips so that the driver doesnt fall asleep. 2. get gas on the way back to camp.
no one really can understand what justifications/rationalizations/reasonings were going on in our heads as we decided that we didn't in fact need to get gas on the way back to camp. yes, the gas light was on. yes, it had been on for 30 minutes. but we were on a time crunch and as we pulled into camp at exactly 6, we were feeling invincible, but apparently our gas tank wasn't.
we enjoyed our evening of dance parties, fondue, prayer and sharing, staff videos, gifts, delirium while signing objects, etc etc etc. we were running behind schedule but as we left at about 3:15 we felt like nothing could stop us. we drove straight to the only gas station in littleton, knowing that we were in dire need of some gas. now, in cary, no matter what time of day or night you can always use your card at the pump and get gas. not so in little 1 stoplight littleton. the pumps were all closed down. we convinced ourselves that we could make it to the next gas station, even though it was about 45 minutes away. i think that was the no-sleep talking. so i decided to pray our way to gas.
about ten minutes down the road i found myself pumping the accelerator with the speedometer rapidly declining. running.out.of.gas. but i looked up and saw a glimmer of hope. a gas station. maybe their pumps were turned on? as we glided into the gas station we soon realized that their pumps were most likely not on considering they didnt even have pumps. sketchhhhh. so we sat there at medlin grocer and gas right next to arcola street, locked the doors, and called julia rice to come get us. she woke up our friend, stephen,  who seemed pretty savvy (note 'seemed') and they said they would figure something out and come rescue us.
at this point my mom decided to call me. remember it is about 3 45 am. weird. so i answered and told her we ran out of gas but assured her that it wasn't a big deal and we would be on our way in no time. stephen and julia soon arrived with a gas caddy that they found at camp that is normally used to fill the golf carts and filled our tank with 12 gallons of gas, enough to make it home. we thanked them, they laughed at us, we exchanged goodbyes again. and left ol medlin.
about 5 minutes down the road, the van started lurching. and by lurching i mean malfunctioning to the max. i tried not to panic and called stephen to ask if golf cart gas was the same as car gas. before the question even left my mouth the van flashed all its lights at me and shut off. great. so kier and i were now in the middle of the road broken down. stephen and julia turned around and sat with us as we waited for the police to come. the police came and told us we probably should have filled up last night (thank you sir) and called the tow company. who came about 20 minutes later. so at this point it is about 5 15. we head back towards camp. we had been traveling for 2 hours and our net distance was zero by the time we got back to camp. my parents left at about 5 30 to come get us, from cary, and bring us home because gas or no gas kier was still moving to indonesia. they told us that they better not have to come find us when they got to camp. we were going to sit in the parking lot and wait but of course it was storming so we sat on the dining hall porch with boxes (because i was moving home with all of my stuff). kier ended up curling up on the little floor mat and i just sat on the bench staring out at misery. robbie, our boss, came out of his baggage car at about 6 30 to let the dog out. and he found kier and i just staring. sometimes i like to imagine how this looked to him, two very tired, disheveled girls siting and staring, not talking, not to mention we were supposed to be at home. we told robbie our sob story and he informed us that was not golf cart gas (which by the way is the same as car gas) but mower gas. aka diesel. kewl. so my parents finally arrived, kier and i could hardly look at them as we loaded ourselves into the car and finally began our journey home.

yeah, that was probably one of the worst nights of my life. my only all-nighter ever. however, i think it was the perfect way to say goodbye to kier. a little adventure, a little stupidity, a little laughter, a little last hoorah. i miss her like crazy but i at least have the last night together to think back upon.
so 800 dollars, a few air filters, two towing companies and a couple lectures later, she's in indonesia and im in cary. but it was the best ending.

                                                                       days before vamn

                                                                    1 day before vamn
                                

                                                                  hours before vamn                      

                                                                  moments before vamn

shamp round 2.

water balloon roulette. tree.r.dubs. bear rides. glory of creation. the bernie. waka waka. elusive canadian geese. diesel. m&ms. mudfights. 4th of july tanks. camper crushes. yodeling goats. outdoor chapel. tobacco leaves. le dock. imma die. crinkles. spider man-ing. phosphorescent plankton. pros and cons. classic o'neils. lover's retreat lane. river houses. lake houses. talks until 2 am. talks at 2 am. brackish water. sharing bears. lightning. room of requirement. hanging out at 6:30 am. lols and you right you rights. blue stand aps. enormous squeaky inflatable neon dinosaurs in the room. white chicks. knee people. off time boat rides. liability boatdocks. cardboard boat races. babies and highschoolers. fallopians not philippians. foam hammers. lola. zip tower reprieves. summer 2k11. may you always live on.

keegz

candids. so classic.

ps: happy graduation sage, kier, and bethy!

annae.

you begin to love your name more when you share it with some of your bestest friends. oh anna, that's our name.

touche, rents

today during accountability with tyler hood and mary blonshine, we were reading over our notes from our accountability meetings in high school. on february 8, 2009 apparently i talked about how that week i had attempted to drive to school with ice on my windshield, which blocked my vision. i, of course, got caught. i attempted to drive past my dad, who was on his way back from his daily five mile walk, but was flagged down. he made me sit on the side of the road for about ten minutes until my window defrosted. and that was the extent of my memory.

except today i was reminded that my punishment went further. i should have known. apparently, i had to write a fictional four page paper to be turned into my dad about how my reckless driving resulted in a car accident in which a small child was killed and my sister was sent into icu. this is a brilliant punishment for the following reasons:
             1. i love to write. i get so enveloped in the world of the narrator that their pain and experiences become my pain and experiences. so of course i was going to write the story as though i was experiencing the turmoil of the reckless driver. touche.
             2. my sister is my best friend in the world. making me kill her off would be a bit excessive, so my dad did the next best thing -- made me put her in icu.
            3. it was second semester senior year... the last thing i wanted to do was write a paper.

so i begged caitlin to send me a copy of the paper today. which she did. which is hilarious. of course i wrote it as the most melodramatic thing in the history of the world, knowing that that way my dad would think i had learned my lesson. and of course in my own sort of spite, i changed all the names because i didn't want to relate to the injured parties. it would be too painful. i chose names that were so obscure that i had never even heard of people with those names. of course, since coming to college i have met people with the exact same names. the joke's on me. the joke is always on me.

1k lyfe

last saturday, i ran a 1k. no, i didn't forget the zero. it was a one k. and it was great.

                                              the annae. motto: we are anna. we wear orange.

just the sorority! rave-ing it up! 

ps: note the cooler. it is carly's and it has an ipod hook-up. you best believe we jammed the entire 1k.

don't hayyyte

fact: that is a baby phat shirt. and these are my best friends.

carrboro yl... da best

i love my team more than anyone else loves their team in the whole world. this pic was taken at leader placement after haley got placed on our team last sunday.

quintessential: adj.  most typically representative of a quality, state, etc. as in, the above picture is

quintessential of the carrboro younglife leaders.

not pictured: frances... best team leader evr.

a fortnight of fort nights.

not really. we really only had the fort up for as long as carolina was in the ncaa tournament. we win together, we lose together.

sb2k11

da best.
i learned the following things in winterpark, florida:

1.it's always best to go to bed by 10:30 and wake up by 8:30

2.rice-aroni is NOT as easy as they make it seem. don't let them make you feel bad when you mess it up.

3.harry potter is the perfect movie marathon, but sometimes you need two nights to watch one movie so as to abide by #1.

4.when in doubt, play mash.

5.old women get in tiffs too. and it's funnier than normal people tiffs. (see fight between barbara, sissy/gail, and maria)

6.gi-gi / mrs. gi-dgers / gi-dge is the most intriguing dog eva.

7.if it's stormy, go for an eight mile walk. it's fun. and healthy. and when you come back the sun will just be starting to peak out.

8.nothing is the best something you could ever spend your time doing.

i love spring break.

ps. happy pi day (the second best holiday of the entire year)!

you know you're a keegan if...

my family and i always talk about signature trademarks of being a keegan. i have two such postcards from sarah jane hanging in my dormroom right now. one says: "you know you're a keegan if... the phrase "White-Whipper-Whapper-Snapper" is not only a delicious example of alliteration but the inspiration for your father's eulogy", the other: "you know you're a keegan if... you feel that sleep is the highest calling in life."
these are keegan facts. and i have thought of two more in the last fifteen or so hours.

"you know you're a keegan if... italian dressing clad noodles are a staple in your diet." (which may or may not be something i got mocked for last night)
"you know you're a keegan if... you often get ready for the day with andrea bocelli and celine dion's 'the prayer' on repeat. you also often shed a tear because of it's beauty."

it's real. it's beauty. it's the keegan way. dig it.